What Did You Say ?!
by MustangSally
Summary: what the characters *really* wanted to say...my sad attempt at humor...R&R and i'll be your buddy forever ;-P
1. what did you say ?!

Summary : What the characters *really* waned to say...  
  
author notes at end.  
  
*************************************  
  
What did you say ?!  
  
by MustangSally  
  
Scene : Meet the Bohos...  
  
Christian : (narrating) ..when suddenly, an unconcious argentinean fell through my roof. He was quickly joined by a dwarf dressed as a nun.  
  
*CRASH!!*  
  
Toulouse bursts through the door  
  
Toulouse : How do you do ! My name is Henwee Mawee Waymon Toulouse Lautrec Montfar ...Tewwibwy sowwy about aww this...!  
  
Christian : jumps up from his desk Jesus Christ ! What the bloody hell is going on here ?! Are you people on crack ?!!I have been in this country no less than a day and I feel like I am living in a circus ! I have seen midgets and i have seen crossdressers...but crossdressing midgets ? Christ on a bloody flaming cross...  
  
Christian : (narrating) ..and thats when I decided to get the fuck out of France and go back to England...where the people are NORMAL !  
  
Scene : Diamonds are a girl's best friend  
  
Satine : dancing Is the duke here Harold ?  
  
Zidler : dancing with Satine Pigeon, would daddy let you down ?  
  
Satine : Where is he ?  
  
Zidler : indicates the duke He's the one Toulouse is shaking a hanky at  
  
Satine : sees Christian Sweet ! I get to fuck Ewan McGregor ! aww yeah !!  
  
Zidler : very confused what the hell -?  
  
Scene : Introducing, the Duke  
  
Christian : (narrating) But someone else was to meet Satine that night...  
  
the Duke : drooling over Satine ooh..mine, she will be mine...  
  
Christian : looks around the corner of his booth Piss off ! I'm hotter than you so I get first dibs !  
  
Duke : You wanna take this outside, boy ?  
  
Christian : Yeah bitch, Bring it on !  
  
Duke : Boy, Ima fuck you up fo' real yo !  
  
they go all ghetto-white boy on eachother  
  
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Author Notes: well, what did you think ? my sad ass attempt at comedy. You want more ? review and let me know.... *subliminal messgae..reviews are good....everybody wants to review..you know you're just dying to review....end subliminal message* 


	2. watch your mouth !

Summary : characters speak their minds....god help us all ;-P  
  
Author Notes at end.  
  
*************************************  
  
What Did You Say ?!  
  
by MustangSally  
  
Scene : Satine Falls  
  
Satine : (singning) Diamonds are a giiiirls beeeeessst - *wheeze*  
  
Satine falls  
  
Zidler : SHIIIIIIT !!!!!  
  
Chocolat : hmm...there is a giant pink feathery thing headed right for me...what the F-*SPLAT!*  
  
  
  
Scene : A Private Poetry Reading  
  
Satine : (grabs Christian's crotch) Does that inspire you ?  
  
Christian : nods his head vigorously  
  
Satine : (throws Christian on the bed) Let's make love !  
  
Christian : hell yeah ! I get to fuck Nicole Kidman ! Sweet !  
  
  
  
Scene : The Pitch (the very end of it)  
  
All : (singing) It will run for fifty yeeeeeears !  
  
everybody is running around..Toulouse is runing around screaming and waving his arms)  
  
Warner : walks in to see whats going on Dude ! I knew this place had an opium den...but i didn't know they had a crack shack ! Sweeeet !!!  
  
Toulouse : (running around screaming, heads for Warner) aaahh !!  
  
Warner : (girly scream) Midgets on crack ! aaaahhhhh !!! (runs out of the red room)  
  
  
  
Scene : Elephant Love Medley  
  
Satine : (singing) Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs..  
  
Christian : (singing) Well whats wrong with that ? I'd like to know, cause here I go agaaaiin -!  
  
Christian jumps on top of the thing on the elephants head  
  
Satine : Dude, if you fall I'm gonna -  
  
Christian : (loses his balance) aaaiiiieee ! (falls)  
  
Satine : -laugh soo hard. (falls over laughing)  
  
Christian : (pathetically from below) ooow....fuck you ! stop laughing !...I think I broke my ass...  
  
Scene : We Have to End it  
  
Christian : (narrating) All night the penniless sitar player waited...  
  
Zoom up on Ewan typing slowly on the typewriter  
  
Ewan : (thinking to himself) I *click* can't *click* type *click* for *click* shite *click*  
  
Baz : (off camera) You're a POET goddamnit !! At least PRETEND you know how to use a bloody typewriter !!!  
  
  
  
Scene : I don't Like This Ending  
  
All on stage : (singing),,til my dying daaaayy !! (all stop singing and look at the duke expectantly)  
  
The Duke : (in a nasaly voice) I don't like this ending.  
  
Christian : What ?!! What do you mean you 'don't like this ending' mimics the dukes voice Do you have any idea how long it took me to think that shit up ?!  
  
The Duke : I want a new ending ! That one sucked !  
  
Christian : (getting really mad) Don't make me come over there !  
  
The Duke : (acting all superior) Boy, must I resort to violence and beat you again ?  
  
Christian : Beat me ? BEAT ME ?!! *I* kicked *your* ass chump !! And i'm 5 seconds away from doing it again !  
  
The Duke : Bring it on, ya penniless pussy  
  
Christian : (throws his hat and script on the ground and rips off his scarf) Thats IT !! You suck !! (pushes the Duke off his high stool)  
  
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Author Notes : Yes, there was an opium den inside the elephant at he real Moulin Rouge...but uh, I don't think there was a crack shack..hehe. Let me know what you guys think...do you want me to post more..or shall i just end the torture here ? *evil grin* 


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